Open University of Celestial Hardship (OUCH)
Smack Talk - Printable Version

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Smack Talk - Bren Genzan - 10-11-2012

Wikipedia Wrote:Smack talk - inflammatory comments made by a person or team in order to insult, anger, or annoy opponents.

Smack talk. Love it or hate it, it's a part of Eve. Overall, smack or trash talking is part of sports and gaming cultures. At a minimum, it's an attempt to "psych out" your opponent, place them off balance so that they don't perform at their best. At its maximum, it's psychological warfare, a way to demoralize and distract your opponents so that you can take advantage of that distraction.

In Eve, smack talk usually comes as a flood of one way conversation in Local, expounding the superior skill, intelligence and general masculinity of the speaker, while pointedly deriding one's opponents on their lack of those self-same qualities. Characteristics of a good smack talker include humor, originality and pertinence. Rapid fire, error free typing skills are a plus: people are quick to point out when the protagonist can't seem to spell or punctuate a sentence properly. Smack Fail.

The Official Open University of Celestial Hardship [OUCH] policy does not condone smack talk. We tell our pilots not to talk in local because local chat is a distraction, and distracted pilots get pointed and lose their ships. Of course, sometimes pilots just can't help themselves: the fifth grader in them jumps out and they can't help but call someone a noob and tell them how much they fail at Eve. We see it a lot, especially after they lose their ship.

The pilots in OUCH try to keep it down to a minimum. We try to be a little more sophisticated and grown up. We try to be mature. You know? We try to stay at least at the ninth grade level. Sometimes, we fail miserably. But most times, we just talk in local to encourage the smack talker to, well, smack talk. Because smack talk is entertaining, and sometimes, all you're really looking for is a chance to break the monotony.

The most important thing we can teach about smack talk is not to get distracted from the business at hand. Never get so involved in or distracted by chat or links in local that you fail to keep your ship safe. Never ever talk smack if your opponents have a chance of finding and catching you. Nothing is more fun than catching a guy smack talking while he's sitting still at a celestial, or can be probed down in space.

The smack talker's job is to try to goad you into engaging a fight that you are likely to lose. You're a coward if you stay at your safe. You're a noob if you don't fight fair. Fair enough. Just don't fall for the okie-doke. Stay aligned, on safes. Pay attention to your surroundings. Use DScan. Cloak up if you can.

OUCH's unofficial local chat policy is Anti-Smack. The format is simple:

Agree with the smack talker. Fuel his frustration. Gather tears.

Yes, I believe you are correct, we are noobs. It's also quite possible that we are cowards. I'd ask my girlfriend, but she gets physical sometimes. What Falcon? Nah, he's afk, his mom called him away to do his laundry. You're right though, six versus six would have been a good fight. Just because you guys are in battlecruisers doesn't mean our frigates had no chance. Thank you for the advice. My FC would have engaged you, but he's been streaming a cooking show instead of paying attention to his Eve client. He's not too bright but he's the only one with a working microphone. I'm with you on that one, we really do suck at this whole PvP thing.

You know something? We've taken a vote and we're all quitting Eve. Do you want our stuff?


It's right here, on the bubble. Tongue